SUMMER LOVIN'

Dear Lulu,

Mama was born in summer. I would like to think that this is one of the reasons why I am characteristically cheerful.  I love summer- the blue skies, the bright sun-kissed mornings and the beach trips.

easter bunny

This year, there is one more reason for me to love it-getting to spend time with you!
It seems so cliche! Yet, I have realized that almost everything takes on a new meaning because of motherhood.

It will be a very busy  academic year for me this 2012-2013. I have studies to finish, papers to present, lesson plans to update, Master's track to plan-the whole gamut! I have finally come to terms with the fact that there is nowhere else I'd rather be than here  in the Philippines , no other place I want to work in but in UP. I am home and I know I am in my element here.

The Oblation Statue at the end of the University Avenue
University of the Philippines, Diliman

That is why, my love, I am gearing everything for our future towards living, thriving here, in the land of our birth. There is no better place to raise you, Lulu.

This is the last summer when I can indulgently choose not to work nor study.This is the first summer of your life. I don't want to miss it for the world.

Everyday brings a new revelation about your nature. Each moment I spend with you, I rediscover the simple joys of getting to know the world.

When you were inside me, the only thing I asked from God was to keep you alive until I bring you out in this world. I never asked for a cute baby, I did not ask for a child who is not fussy or colicky.  I just wanted you to survive, despite my many complications.

I am ever thankful that you are so much more than I asked for.


You're a cheerful baby.
You're very sociable.
You're easy to take care of because you rarely cry.(unless you're hungry!)


You seem like an old soul because there's something about you that makes me feel you already understand how I feel.


You're so quirky  and you possess so much personality. I never get tired of taking pictures of you  and looking at them.


A couple of days I go, I was looking through my files and came upon the pictures of you I compiled since you were born. How time flies! It seems like yesterday when we were just feeding you with a syringe! Though, there was never a moment when you seemed frail or small, you really stirred fierce protectiveness in both your Papa and me.  We even had these crazy, paranoid thoughts that we would accidentally drop you while we were holding you!!

Oh Lulu, you've been changing us and our lives ever since you came!  Before you were born, summer meant escapades, adventures and partying.  There was never a summer when I did not leave Manila for a vacation. I always felt caged when I had to stay for a period of time at home. For some reason, the coming of summer always made me more carefree, living and loving life with absolute abandon.


When I found out I was pregnant with you and was going through those stages of ambivalence, the first thing that crossed my mind was : OUR LIVES ARE GONNA CHANGE. No more random trips, no more carefree lifestyle, no more adventures. I did not know how to feel about that, then. Initially,  I was anticipating these restrictions and felt a bit sad because I had more adventures to pursue in my mind.
On the other hand,I felt guilty for feeling that way, being so selfish and ungrateful with your gift of life in my belly. 




THEN YOU CAME.

 AND EVERYTHING  FADED INTO THE BACKGROUND.


Now, there is nothing I'd rather do than spend the day with you. When I have to leave, I can't wait to get home just to hold you. It's crazy but I can smell you even in my sleep!

Nothing gives me more pleasure now than anticipating your needs and satisfying them.
Then again, the only thing that agitates you is the rumbling of your belly!

I feel that the outside is world is a far away place and I would rather stay here in our cocoon watching you eat, sleep and grow.

I have so much love for you inside me that I am able to make up songs as I go through our daily routine. We now have a bath song, a sleeping song, a drinky-drinky  song, a poopoo time song and even a stare-at-the-ceiling song.

I never grow tired of singing to you, making you laugh, hugging you.

YOU ARE MY PRIDE AND JOY.

I am thankful for this long stretch of summer when I am free to be at home with you, getting to know your personality, discovering your different idiosyncracies, tracking your growth and being your mama.

Looking at you now, as you sleep, I know somehow you are a child of summer, too. You bring  us so much sunshine, like the moon that you are. (absorbing all the light and shining it down on the world). I feel now that the fears of giving-up my adventures are totally unfounded.

Having you in my life IS the adventure.

I am looking forward to the days, months, years that I will share with you.
 There's a whole wide world waiting to be explored,
a whole lot of hidden pleasures to be discovered and
your whole life to be celebrated.

So let's have this summer together, get to know each other, get to know the world and bond like crazy!

I am right where I want to be- right here with you.

Love,

your summer Momma